Growing a life of gratitude

Last year around November 1 or 4, I haven't checked exact dates, I began a journey. This journey did not really have an end in sight. Rather, it was with the hopes that the journey itself would be worthwhile. 

A while back we had some changes happen in our life. While I knew I should trust God that He would work all of it out for good in my life, and for His glory, I found myself time and again doubting, feeling sad, hurt, and focused on myself. Then something happened. A pastor and some friends started talking about being thankful. I saw posts on Facebook and heard a great sermon. You can find it here.

What a journey it's been. I decided to post my thanks daily on Facebook. I figured this way if I missed a day someone would ask and that would keep me accountable. But, that first week it was hard. I had to, in the midst of my "me focus" think about things for which I was thankful. I was well aware of the things for which I was NOT thankful, the things I would change, but I really had to think hard each day to get one item up on my page. It was an item to cross off my list of things to do. Yep, in my own little OCD way, it had become a chore, rather than an overflowing of a grateful heart. (More on that later.)

Yet, somewhere along the way something changed. I noted that I didn't labor so hard over being grateful. Not only that, but I had a hard time keeping my lists short at times. God had started to give me a heart of flesh, rather than a heart of stone. Not only this, but other people began to notice. Now, mind you, that's not the focus of what I had been doing, but it did show me that something had happened. I could feel the change, but now I saw that it was a deep enough change that other people noticed as well. I am here to say that, sadly, I still had, and have, my moments of whining, and complaining, and being anything OTHER than grateful. However, more and more I was changing into a joyful grateful person who began to focus on things besides me, me, me. 

Originally the plan had been to do this perhaps for a month, maybe even a year. Yep, one of my "list" things. A measurable plan with a significant beginning and end. I realized as Nov. 1 rolled around this year that rather than end this journey I'd like to celebrate anniversaries of becoming a grateful child of the King. Mind you, I had become a child of the King many many years ago, but I'm not sure that I ever really purposed to work at changing, to ask God to help me to change. I want to live my life giving thanks, praising God, and sharing this truth with others... 

Luke 6:45

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

45 The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.

So, I'm looking forward to being the good man who has good treasure in my heart that will bring forth good fruit. 

And what about those life circumstances? Well, we continue to deal with chronic illnesses with family members, with questions and concerns about the future, with government furloughs and the rest. But, that's become background noise against which you will, Lord willing, hear my praises and thanks for recognizing the glory and goodness of God. I invite you to join me in recognizing the God of the universe... omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent... who has not left us behind, but is intimately involved in our lives. 

Shalom, 
Kim

Whom do I fear?

Over the past year I have worked through some hard feelings. In the end I was left with this... fear man or fear God. I wanted a life with NO fear, but as I read through passage after passage of scripture I realized that I have must have some fear. A healthy fear. A fear of God.

fear
noun1.a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real orimagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Synonyms: foreboding, apprehension,consternation, dismay, dread, terror, fright, panic, horror, trepidation, qualm. Antonyms: courage,security, calm, intrepidity.2.a specific instance of or propensity for such a feeling: an abnormal fear of heights. Synonyms: phobia,aversion; bête noire, bogy, bogey, bugbear. Antonyms: liking, fondness, penchant, predilection.3.concern or anxiety; solicitude: a fear for someone's safety.4.reverential awe, especially toward God: the fear of God. Synonyms: awe, respect, reverence,veneration.5.something that causes feelings of dread or apprehension; something a person is afraid of: Cancer is acommon fear.

  [feer]  Show IPA

Fear is something I've battled my whole life. Fear of bugs. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of being lost. Fear of being LOST. In the end, fear was ruling my life, and I wasn't allowing God to rule.

In Genesis Abraham feared man, more than God, and his wife, Sarai, ended up being another man's wife, for a while. But in many more examples when people cried out in distress God answered and told them that he would bless them and help them since he saw that they feared him. But, what I learned was that the one fear and the other fear were not the same. The one fear was for temporal things, and was for a loss of comfort and pride. The other fear was actually a healthy respect, a true recognition for our omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent God. It was a fear for the eternal.

Proverbs and Isaiah are full of verses that link fear and knowledge... again, that respect or recognition for who God truly is.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 1:7
"Then they will call on me, but I will not answer; They will seek me diligently but they will not find me, Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord."
Proverbs 1: 28-29
Then you will discern the fear of the Lord And discover the knowledge of God.
Proverbs 2:5

God promises us that we will know him, or have knowledge of him, if we have a healthy fear of him. So, now, when I pray to live my life without fear I am learning to acknowledge that there is one fear I must have, or perish... fear of God.

I pray you find this fear as well and lose your other fears of things temporal and less important.

Shalom,
Kim

Giving Thanks...The Joyful Life

Has it really been since November that I've been away from blogging? Sad thing is that I enjoy writing my thoughts... if I can do it with a keyboard, that is. But, life has been so busy and I've been learning so much.

I've not said a lot about why I started a new blog. Suffice it to say that my life started to change a lot last spring, and over the summer some major changes happened. At the time the process was very hard and painful and I still don't intend to write about the whole thing, but what amazed me was seeing God at work.

Jars created for New Year's Eve party... each family
is to fill the jar with  things for which they are thankful.
Next New Year's Eve they can open the
jar and remember what God has done.

Why should that amaze me? Hasn't he been with me through every trial or temptation in my life? Yet, it continues to amaze me as I realize more and more how very very small I am and how very very EVERYTHING he is. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going all "new agey" on you... rather, it's just that he is ruler of the universe, creator, sustainer, redeemer.... God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. So, who am I to expect his presence in my life?

That's what I started learning. I am His child. I am redeemed by the blood of His son and therefore I am important to him, although not important in the world's eyes. Lovely. Restful. Peaceful. Grace-ful... i.e. full of grace, God's grace. This didn't come to me overnight, rather through the preaching of Jeff Canfield, Rick Amerine, Adam Niess, Rich Holdeman, Doug Schroeder and Tom Kammel I have been learning more and more about the fullness of God.

I began to see God's grace as well as his judgment in life. I began to see that I had many many reasons to give thanks, and that God was still with me, with us (our family). So, as November began I began the Thirty Days of Thankfulness journey. Each day I worked very hard to find something for which to be thankful. Some days it was easy and some days not so much. But, it was a chore I had set out to do, so I worked at it. As the month started to wind down I found myself not really wanting to stop this journey, for somewhere along the line giving thanks had become a habit, something about which to be excited rather than a chore. I started wondering what it would be like to do this daily. If you're Facebook friends with me you can see me post daily about things for which I am thankful. Occasionally I miss a day, but I always try to go back and add it in. It was to be a year long journey, but I see now it is a life long journey. Thank you Abba for your grace and mercy!

1 Thessalonians 5:17-19

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

¹⁷ pray without ceasing; ¹⁸ in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ¹⁹ Do not quench the Spirit;

And, isn't this just what God calls us to anyway? I had always read about giving thanks in everything... but somehow I had missed the "Do not quench the Spirit"...

Matthew Henry's commentary says the following:

 Note, A religious life is a pleasant life, it is a life of constant joy. 2. Pray without ceasing, 1 Thess. 5:17. Note, The way to rejoice evermore is to pray without ceasing. We should rejoice more if we prayed more. We should keep up stated times for prayer, and continue instant in prayer. We should pray always, and not faint: pray without weariness, and continue in prayer, till we come to that world where prayer shall be swallowed up in praise. The meaning is not that men should do nothing but pray, but that nothing else we do should hinder prayer in its proper season. Prayer will help forward and not hinder all other lawful business, and every good work. 3. In every thing give thanks, 1 Thess. 5:18. If we pray without ceasing, we shall not want matter for thanksgiving in every thing. As we must in every thing make our requests known to God by supplications, so we must not omit thanksgiving,Phil. 4:6. We should be thankful in every condition, even in adversity as well as prosperity. It is never so bad with us but it might be worse. If we have ever so much occasion to make our humble complaints to God, we never can have any reason to complain of God, and have always much reason to praise and give thanks: the apostle says, This is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning us, that we give thanks, seeing God is reconciled to us in Christ Jesus; in him, through him, and for his sake, he allows us to rejoice evermore, and appoints us in every thing to give thanks. It is pleasing to God. 4. Quench not the Spirit (1 Thess. 5:19), for it is this Spirit of grace and supplication that helpeth our infirmities, that assisteth us in our prayers and thanksgivings. 

And therein lies the secret... pray and don't stop, prayer assists us in giving thanks, giving thanks helps us to recognize God's work in us, more praise and giving of thanks, more prayer and then the work of the Spirit is free and unhindered and He will work through us. That is when we begin to live the joyful life of a Christian giving thanks. 

Shalom (peace), 
Kim