Sunday, December 28, 2014

Saying Good Bye

I'm about to reach a new era in my life. Saying good bye to an adult child as we "send them" off into the world. It's an interesting time to be sure. And, I've often told my children that my job is to do myself out of a job... that is, to raise children who will move away and start their own lives/families/journeys. While I hope to be a "sideways" part of their life, I will not be directing. As if I ever really have. God's job, after all!

 Monday morning, December 29, Aaron starts his journey to HIS new home. Abilene, Texas. He's going to be working for an airline as a mechanic/inspector. It's part of a journey he started when he was just three... declaring someday he'd be a pilot... He is. And someday he'd go to Africa. He did. And he wanted to be a missionary aviator... in process.

 As if it's not hard enough to say good bye to one child, another is also flapping her way out of the nest soon, all the way to South San Francisco. She'll be a nanny, for 4-12 months, and we're so grateful it's for people we know and love! Truth be told, she's always sort of been part of their family, even down to an honorary family name... She loves this family and their children, and they love her. And, as their family grows from 4 to 5 blessed little children, she will be a blessing to them, I pray.

 But still. I wasn't ready for this one. And yet, as I tell my children, my students, the kids in children's church... God is always on time. He is never early. He is never late. And so, I can trust that THIS is the time for my kids to take these steps and make this journey. I've been calling my mom quite a bit as they prepare to leave. I know she's already been through this after all. Recently she sent me this very helpful quote ... I'd like to share it on the off chance that it blesses someone else as it blessed me ...
This is from a book I've read --- To See the Moon by Jamie Langston Turner. The following is attributed to Rev. Bill Smith in his book ESSAYS ON LIVING WELL, the chapter on Honor Thy Children. I have searched for this pastor and his book and haven't been able to find it. However, I appreciate the paragraph. Just food for thought. I wish I had a better handle on this when you were leaving the nest.

Letting your child go is the ultimate act of love, demanding of parents the kind of seasoned courage that acknowledges the presence of evil yet believes in the greater power of good. A parent who releases his child must first release himself from fretting over past failures, present fears, and future dangers. A parent who views his child as an extension of himself becomes greedy for perfect performances, seeing the child's success as his own. Letting go, then, starts with giving up of one's pride. As (sic) the end of a weary day, the parent must lay aside his efforts and schemes, rest his head on the pillow of faith in a wise and good God, and trust attending angels to guard his precious one through the uncertain night ahead in a place beyond his reach.
As I say good bye I'm glad for the many things we've done in our life as a family of six... we've laughed together and cried together. I did things I didn't think I was brave enough to try... parasailing, trying strange and unknown foods in China, finding new ways to grow our family. We made memories. I learned that kids were more important than stuff. We went to church together. We gave our kids freedom to find God.  Find a church. Find their way. We talked a lot ... I probably talked most. We sat in silence. We explored. We searched for beauty. We enjoyed wonder. We enjoyed the little things... a first fire of the season, the first violets each spring, flower buds, funny bugs.  We made time for each other. We argued. We made up. We learned about each other. It was not all rosy by any means, but it was OUR LIFE, and I'm so grateful. And, we took lots of pictures... But, I'll just share from our recent family photo shoot of the kids for their dad's gift ...

Love this one as it shows their true personalities... 

As does this one... 

And, here it is... just a peek of the next few years... the kids still love each other, they will remain family, but they will all, one day, walk away into their own lives... I'm so thankful God has allowed us to parent them this far. Next steps... being their friends... What a glorious gift!

Good bye Aaron, and soon Elisabeth... you have been a blessing here for the past 24+ and 18+  years... I pray that as you step away you take with you a love for God and a desire to continue to follow him. 
We love you!